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Recently, the Kano State Government organised and sponsored the wedding of 100 widows and divorcees ostensibly to reduce the teeming number of divorcees in the State. Against this background, MAIRO MUHAMMAD MUDI examines the high rate of divorce among Nigerian families which is becoming a source of worry. She seeks to know the reasons behind this societal problem and if most men who practice polygamy fulfill the Islamic conditions of the multiple marriage.
Mallam Yusuf Yunusa Maikanti is an Islamic cleric and lawyer who believes that polygamy is one permissible Islamic way of marriage and sees the protection of women.
He also explained that men are naturally polygamous and that a man having just one wife may push many of the women to commit adultery and most often being left to bear the resultant effect which may come in form of viral diseases or HIV/AIDS, pointed out that in all societies, women usually outnumber the men and in a situation where the men turned against polygamy, more women are likely to go into prostitution.
Mallam Mai Kanti who stressed that, polygamy is supposed to be a pratice that promotes unity and peace in the family unit of the society, but most men that go into it are ignorant of its principles which leads to high rate of divorces. According to him, its conditions include having the means to feed each and every of the wives, providing for comfortable accommodation, clothing, knowledge and health care amongst the wives equally.
“A situation where a man cannot afford to take care of a single wife satisfactorily but would go ahead and marry two or even four to jam pack them in a place where they can be sharing the same toilet and kitchen which would naturally call for querrel and may lead to divorce, this situation is what is generally practiced here and is against the principle of polygamy.” He said.
He further quoted the Holy Qur’an 4:3 where Allah specifically gives condition for polygamy, “If you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of (other) women, two, three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then (marry only) one or those your right hand possesses. That is more suitable that you may not incline (to injustice).
Another respondent, Malam Abdulkadir Mahmoud Turajo from kano said whether polygamy or monogamy if there is love, understanding and adherence to the Islamic injunctions, the marriage will remain strong and the couples will remain together without thinking of divorce.
Malam Turajo said even though polygamy is not mandatory but with the current statistics of more women than men, the society has to do with polygamy or some women will stay without husbands. He added that, problem that usually causes divorce rears its head when the people involve refuse to adhere to the Islamic injunctions on polygamy.
Malam Mukhar Mudi revealed that polygamy constitute 50 to 60% of divorce in the society of today and the problem centres on selfishness whereby a man would be living with his wife peacefully for years but the moment he indicates interest to take another wife, all hell will let loose.
Alhaji Abdulkadir Muhammad also agrees that selfishness is the bane of polygamy whereby woman would bear any negative condition with a man because she is alone.” But a good man who is capable of shouldering his responsibility would face great challenges when he decides to take another wife, hell will break lose and he would be accused of injustice because she feels she is the owner of her husband alone.”
Most women that spoke with Sunday Leadership were in support of polygamy, but what are the reasons that many of such respondents do walk out of the marriage if it is a welcome institution? Hajia Safeena Buhari from Katsina State said, “it is not even good for a woman to be praying for her husband not to add another wife, the solution is to accept it as fate because it is Allah that decreeds it.”
Hajia Safeena said if a woman becomes contented with her life in a polygamous home and knows she is doing it for the sake of Allah, then she will be able to cope with the challenges and so divorce would be out of her way.”
Malama Fatima Mustapha said the principle of divorce according to Allah is perfect but most men abuse it which results in divorce. “Some men will simply marry additional wife for selfish or flimsy excuses, while some women will also give their husbands so much troubles just because they decide to add another wife and this is where the crisis usually set in.”
She pointed out that polygamy, is bound to fail in a situation where a man is incapable of maintaining a single wife with no regular job or strong business but goes ahead to marry more women and yet stop the women from working or engaging in business.
Hajia Maryam Musa who said the solution to polygamy and divorce is patience advised that marriage should be contracted for the sake of Allah and love only and the couples should consider it as an act of worship.
She said if men will be fair in treating their wives and the women will be tolerant, there will be love and understanding within the family.
http://www.leadership.ng/nga/articles/2 ... ction.html
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A valid point. I tire o.
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